5 Key Phrases to Disarm a Narcissist-Reclaim Your Control

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Do you need some key phrases to disarm a narcissist? Do you freeze up when you are talking to a narcissist? Do you want to learn how to disarm a narcissist? Do you wish to regain your personal control?

Do you work with a narcissist that pushes your buttons? Do you have family a member that is always trying to gaslight you or step over your boundaries?

Narcissists like to take power over others. They are bullies and use dominant behavior against those they are wishing to control.



  1. I would like to thank you for finally releasing me from a situation I have been in for over twenty years. In the last twelve months I decided to take control of what I can control of a mother daughter relationship that has been extremely hurtful and heartbreaking. I have been the door mat for most of my life really but I finally decided to take control and it’s finally paying off. This video has saved my sanity more than you will ever know. I have always been a person who cannot hurt anyone’s feelings even if they hurt mine repeatedly and the reason is I just never knew what to say in return but from this day on you have given me the tools to basically protect myself I needed help and this has totally been enlightening for me. So thank you very very much you have no idea how much this means to someone like me.

  2. My dad (the only person I've really ever been close to) has a friend who has totally and completely pushed me out of the way and stepped on my toes from day one acted like my friend in front of him went as far as to beg me to come to his house then act like a douche bag when were one on one and after years of me being abused and made to look like I'm a bad guy for being offended more and more I feel he's won he acts like my dads son and my dad gives him the benefit of the doubt, I now look crazy to my dad and someone has taken my place all because he turns it around and makes me look like the narcissist I LOSE!!

  3. Savvy narcissists use these phrases themselves preemptively. Using these yourself works against the ones with little experience being narcissistic.
    One that works wonders is, "I don't tend to develop opinions of someone with whom I've never interacted" because it disables the reason they give you that opinion. Be ready for unhappy narcissists, they hate independent thought.

  4. I tried the I am sorry you feel that way – their response – "You should feel sorry" I tried the You're entitled to how you feel and that's your perception. and their response was "You made me this way" The biggest thing that can suck you in, is if they are double binding you. They find ways or examples to have an answer for everything!!! The best thing to really do is just cut them off completely. Watch them self destruct when they realize you're a good person. It's hard to cut someone off that you once shared a lot with and built great memories. But those memories become tainted when the abuser sucks the life out of you. You no longer can see clearly or remember the good times, because they have broken you down to NOTHING.

  5. My strategy is to subtly let the narcissist know I am aware of their attempts at manipulation, and proceed to systematically refuse to take a bait. You don't argue with a narcissist, you refuse to take a bait until they get frustrated and give up. I grew up with a narcissist father, and I trustingly and loyally fell into every trap he'd lay out for me as a kid. Now I am impervious. I can read him like a book, I am always way ahead of every attack he can mount, and I can totally frustrate any attempt at manipulation. The sad part is that I realise I can never have a meaningful, let alone trusting relationship with my father. The big mistake people make is that they think the narcissist will tire of being a narcissist and make a truce of sorts. They just can't do that. A very important thing when dealing with a narcissist is to learn to genuinely not care when they try and insult or ridicule you, and to let them know you don't care. The one thing they hate is indifference. If they can't provoke you, they have failed.


  7. I would love to see a role play situation acted out on here. For me, it includes tone of voice, facial expressions , even physical stance. I am ABSOLUTELY BLOWN AWAY, JAW ON THE FLOOR at how SPOT ON, TO THE LETTER these videos have been. All caps does not represent yelling, for me, it's representing total shock and awe (teeheehee)

  8. I think the best response is to find the truth in any statement they make and give a neutral reply in a very neutral tone. Something like, "I suppose that could be true" is neither an agreement or a disagreement and there is no response that can follow (although they will usually continue to blather on about some thing or another). The other thing I say is, "I shaved cranberry pants tomorrow" because the absolute absurdity and dysfunction of the statement throws them right off and usually derails their blathering.

  9. Lisa were very nice in your very smart but stop apologizing for other people's behavior by saying I'm sorry we are the victims we shouldn't be sorry for anything

  10. All of these will trigger a narcissists' anger. It will engage them. Is that what we're looking for here? A way to "get back" at them? They'll just keep going. The rope will never end. The drama will just continue. And you'll never be done draining your battery of energy.

  11. I know this is an old video and you may not even see this comment but my question is how did your narcissistic spouse respond when you started using these phrases and what reactions and secondary strategies would be used that we would need to anticipate?

  12. Virtually everyone is a narcissist to some degree thanks to our ubiquitous narcissistic society we live in. We attract narcissistic people to learn more about ourselves. Like attracts like (Universal Law). This video perpetuates the ignorant concept that somehow it’s always someone else that’s the narcissist without ever looking within to see the unresolved issue that my stinking self has attracted or created.

    Would you use any of these statements truthfully? Or are they just a clever comebacks?

    If you apply more Universal Law, such as WHAT I ACKNOWLEDGE, I GET, then you’ll see that on a deeper level, I’m acknowledging someone else’s self absorption instead of the good in them which everyone naturally has. I acknowledge in others, where I’m at now. How about that?

  13. After an extremely distressing call to an old friend who I'd never 'realized' was a narcissist, I found myself struggling to breathe, blood pressure soared & my throat & mouth were so dry I had to say, (for about the 5th time while she ranted & raved about what she thought of me) 'I can't handle this I have to go now, bye…' And before I hung up I heard her sound absolutely befuddled & shocked, when she said 'Oh!' As an 'empath' I've never had the nerve to stop them in their tracks. I'm feeling kinda proud of myself, although I don't like burning any bridges, & would still like to help her out of the wilderness she suffers in…as does her adult son who she keeps sheltered from a normal existence…I realize I'm know match for her wrath, & pray God sends her the help she needs to be set free of her personality disorder.

  14. I would not stay in a relationship where I was knowingly being cut down by an insecure, angry verbal abuser. Their total intention is to break you down and put you beneath their feet – to help them feel better about themselves; their sick self-image. There is nothing more damaging than harmful words (and getting hit) by a devil-filled abuser. Don’t try to reason with them. You’re wasting your time, and the better years of your life. Please get out. Do not tolerate such behavior. Save your life – and your children from thinking that’s what a family or relationship structure is.

  15. Thank you for this video. I'm almost 30 and finally realized that my mother is a narcissist and had caused alot of hurt. But I still have to deal/put up with her for Christmas as we all gather at my grandfathers house for holidays, where my children, husband, and I have to be under the same roof with her. God forbid she makes a very rude or hurtful remark, as she's done in the past in front of everyone, I want to use one of these phrases and watch her reaction in front of everyone, whilst remaining calm. I was so used to gaslighting that I didn't know that's what she was doing but NOW I KNOW!!!!!! She's going to leave me and my husband alone this year or unwittingly expose herself. No more will I put up with her bullying and hurting me.

  16. Thank you- very informative. Been arguing with my narc boyfriend- we have a ‘yak’ tomorrow night and I will definitely use those phrases and see what happens. I am wondering if I should put an emotional component in there at the end ‘I’m not perfect and working on myself I hope you have patience ‘?? Should I??

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